MHI: TO BE by Jason Parent

Trigger Warning: This piece addresses mental health

The HWA is pleased to launch its Mental Health Initiative, a coordinated roll-out of events, resources, and activities intended to promote positive mental health, foster the concept of hope, and challenge the stigma of mental illness in the horror genre. The initiative, run by the organization’s Wellness Committee, launches in June, and includes the following blog posts from Of Horror and Hope, a downloadable anthology of poems, flash fiction, and personal reflections on mental health by HWA members.

TO BE
Jason Parent

I know what true depression is
Maybe, it defines me
To be me
To be what I am
Engulfed by torment
Swallowed by Hell
I look not for pity
I search not for patronizing, thoughtless false caring
But only for an explanation into what I am
I strive for faint mirages and reckless dreams
Only to be overcome by desolate sensations of unknown origin
Emptiness controls. Sorrow prevails
Choking on desolation
Vomitus, wretched, violent
A familiar, unrelenting taste
I have nothing; I have no one
I love nothing; I love no one
I am nothing; I am no one
Fate aligned with melancholy
Captured by grief in an inescapable hold
Humanity is the coldest of words
Without connection
Without identity
Without hope
I am dead, yet I breathe
And tomorrow, I will live