MHI: OF MONSTERS AND MENTAL HEALTH by Sarah Sigfried

Trigger Warning: This piece addresses mental health

The HWA is pleased to launch its Mental Health Initiative, a coordinated roll-out of events, resources, and activities intended to promote positive mental health, foster the concept of hope, and challenge the stigma of mental illness in the horror genre. The initiative, run by the organization’s Wellness Committee, launches in June, and includes the following blog posts from Of Horror and Hope, a downloadable anthology of poems, flash fiction, and personal reflections on mental health by HWA members.

OF MONSTERS AND MENTAL HEALTH
Sarah Sigfried

Few things have been consistent in my life since childhood. My love of horror and the horrors of recurrent Major Depressive Disorder are two of them. Depression is very real and more terrifying than any tale I’ve read or written. I intimately know this monster from my own personal experiences as well as in my day job as a mental health clinician. I have degrees and certificates and credentials, but that doesn’t prevent depression from attacking me. All of Dr. Van Helsing’s knowledge didn’t prevent Dracula from existing, but the good doctor was able to fight the monster.

Depression is my monster. It is most powerful in the darkness where it hides. Scary things reside in dark spaces, such as the feelings and perceptions I have experienced in the depths of depressed mindspace. It also thrives on the ongoing stigma, which prevents seeking supports and getting treatment. The stigma of depression made it very hard for me to seek mental health services in my community, despite my profession. Monsters attack unsuspecting characters who go alone to explore the dark basement or trudge the deep woods. Depression separates me from my loved ones. Depression whispers, “They don’t want you. You’re not worthy,” so I go alone. Don’t do that.

If horror characters don’t continuously keep moving forward, the monsters will sneak up on them. If I don’t continuously work on my wellness daily, depression sneaks up on me. When I trip up or fall down, it pounces on me. Have hope, though! We all know that monsters can be defeated and kept at bay in some way. Instead of garlic and crosses, therapy, social supports, medication, writing horror have helped me to ward off my monster. You can fight yours too!