Interpreted By Naching T. Kassa
Welcome, HWA faithful, to the Horror Watch. Watchung is thrilled! The straight-to-video movie, on which he served as adviser, has been released! PUMPKINS FROM PLANET P is now available in the garbage dumpster behind every Walmart in the country! Watch as Raul Calabeza stomps a tiny model of Tokyo dressed in a rubber pumpkin suit! Tremble as Peter Pumpkineater stalks the young, scantily dressed co-eds! Cringe as Lisa Squashkin acts … badly.
Watchung expects each and every one of you to buy a copy. If you do, he’ll make PUMPKINS FROM PLANET P 2!!
While Watchung plans his budding film career, let’s see what he’s found for us this month.
(Just so you know, Watchung found very little in the way of TV this month.)
Season Two of Stephen King’s MR. MERCEDES returns August 22. Brendan Gleeson and Harry Treadaway will reprise their roles as Bill Hodges and Brady Hartsfield, respectively. See all ten episodes on AT&T’s Audience Network.
Another series based on the works of King premiered on July 25th. Hulu’s CASTLE ROCK involves references to many of King’s characters. It stars Scott Glenn, Sissy Spacek, and Bill Skarsgard. And it’s produced by J.J. Abrams.
Now, on to movies!
THE MEG—Friday, August 10, Rated PG-13. Jason Statham stars in this story of a submarine threatened by a prehistoric shark.
SLENDER MAN—Friday, August 24, Not Rated. The Internet meme lives! Javier Botet (MAMA, THE CONJURING 2) stars in this film about the thin villain.
THE LITTLE STRANGER—Friday, August 31, Rated R. A doctor treats a patient in a haunted house. Based on the Sarah Waters novel.
Ooh! Watchung found some goodies here!
ZOMBIELAND 2 will be released in October 2019. Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin will return. Ruben Fleisher directs.
GLASS, the sequel to SPLIT and UNBREAKABLE, will premiere January 18, 2019.
GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN will arrive October 12, 2018. It stars Jeremy Ray Taylor (IT), Madison Iseman (JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE), and Caleel Horns (CASTLE ROCK). Slappy the ventriloquist dummy returns and he’s brought a few friends.
Jack Black doesn’t appear in GOOSEBUMPS 2, but he stars in THE HOUSE WITH THE CLOCK IN ITS WALLS. The film is adapted from the book by John Bellairs and concerns a young boy who moves in with his warlock uncle. They must find the Doomsday Clock hidden in the walls of their home. The film is directed by Eli Roth and also stars Cate Blanchett. It’s set for a September release.
Watchung is really angry now. There are no DVD titles available this month.
LEGEND OF DARK RIDER—Thursday, August 9, Not Rated. An amnesiac brute wanders the wasteland in this horror fantasy.
THE NINTH PASSENGER—Tuesday, August 21, Rated R. Eight college students are stalked by the mysterious ninth passenger. Stars Jesse Metcalfe.
SUMMER OF ’84—Friday, August 24, Not Rated. Teenagers suspect their neighbor, a policeman, is a serial killer.
BOARDING SCHOOL—Friday, August 31, Rated R. A boy suspects sinister doings after a fellow student’s death at his boarding school.
WE HAPPY FEW will debut August 10. The horror/survival game will be available on PS4, Xbox One, and PC formats.
THE WALKING DEAD: OUR WORLD debuted on July 12. The Augmented Reality Mobile game is available on iPhone and Android formats. Fight alongside Daryl, Michonne, and Rick as well as other heroes from the show. With the AR tech and Google Maps, you can fight alone or with friends. It’s POKEMON GO! for the horror fan.
That’s it for this edition of Watchung’s Horror Watch. Our favorite demonic pumpkin would like to remind you of two things. First, no entertainment, not even the video games, could exist without writers. And, second, if there’s horror news out there, Watchung is watching!
Special thanks to the following Web sites: wheresthejump.com, dreadcentral.com, bloodydisgusting.com, ihorror.com, thisishorror.co.uk, dvdreleasedates.com, promotehorror.com, dailydead.com, variety.com, horrorfreaknews.com, collider.com, moviepilot.com, cinemablend.com, tvline.com, indiewire.com, ew.com, movieweb.com, joblo.com, nerdmuch.com, imdb.com, rottentomatoes.com, gamespot.com, screenrant.com, movieinsider.com, moviefone.com, telegraph.co.uk/gaming, eonline.com, gameranx.com, and wikipedia.com